So I started the long, tedious process of completely overhauling my room this weekend. I have too many clothes I don’t wear, bags I don’t carry, books that have collected dust, and pictures that should be in frames, but instead they’re still in 24 Hour Photo Service envelopes. Needless to say there was a ton that needed to be done and unfortunately I just got about a quarter of it completed.
With only a fraction of the room torn apart, I still managed to fill one big bag to trash and another to donate. Donating is the best part of the whole thing. I don’t need the Build-A-Bear stuffed animal I made 10 years ago, or that sweater that I think I’m going to eventually wear but just never do. What I need is more space to breathe, and write, and play guitar, and sleep. Having a clean, clutter-free space to SLEEP? What a concept, you guys.
If you’re hoping this post is all about my super interesting weekend of cleaning out my room, I’m sorry, but I’m about to throw you a curveball. I know it would’ve been riveting (did she or did she not keep the pouch of gel pens found at the bottom of her closet?), but I have to go another direction. As I was sifting through the piles of shit spewed across my floor, I was thinking this type of purge could be applicable and rather useful in other aspects of life. Why are we so quick to clean out our closets, but not our mind, body, and soul?
We all have those friendships or relationships in our life that are emotionally bringing nothing to the table, and in a lot of cases, are taking away from us. They may be there for comfort, or convenience, or because that’s what we know best, but they’re usually not there to add to our emotional buckets.
I was in a situation not too long ago that I wanted so badly to continue but could never put my finger on why. It wasn’t because I was in love, or in happiness, or in any other beneficial feeling. It was because it was what I knew, and why not, right? Keeping what we know is a lot less scary than giving it up and venturing in to what we don’t know. But the thing is we have to venture. What’s the point if we don’t? We end up in bad relationships and bad friendships, and with even heavier, more confused hearts. We also miss out on flirting, flinging, laughing, fighting, smiling, and any other over the top –ing verb you can think of. We miss out on lifing.
I think this is the only exception to my “Because I Can” attitude. Yes, I can emotionally give more than I’ll ever receive from someone, but why? Yes I can stick to this path even though I know when I’m done walking I’ll find a dead-end, but again, why? What’s better is that I can be smart enough to walk away in hopes of something way more awesome and way more worth my time.
If you can’t find a replacement person for the now ended relationship, find a replacement activity. You can dance, or jog, or meditate. I don’t care if you basket weave. Just make it something more fulfilling than what you left behind. Guitarring (not actually a word) and blogging have been my go-to replacement activities, and it has been worth it 100%.
So, let’s make a deal. Every time you clean out your closet, dresser drawers, or any other part of your space, take ten minutes to decide what needs cleaning out in your life. Whether it is a friendship that has gone sour, a guy who doesn’t deserve you, or some bad habits that need addressing, get rid of it! You’ll feel lighter and happier. Because you can.